16
Shimmey swore at David
5 David and his mob came close to a town called Bahurim. A man called Shimmey came out to meet them. He was one of Saul’s relatives, and his father’s name was Gera. He started to swear at David and talk curses.
6 And he threw stones at them. David’s soldiers and guards were standing with David, but Shimmey kept on throwing stones at all of them.
7 And he cursed David like this, “You are a no good trouble maker. You are a cheeky one, a murderer. You are boss for nothing. Go away.
8 You killed lots of Saul’s family dead, so God is making trouble for you right now. You made yourself the big boss instead of him. So God picked your son Absalom now to be the big boss instead of you. You are a murderer. Now you are in trouble yourself, and it is your own fault.”
9 One of David’s boss soldiers was Abishai. He was the son of Zeruiah, David’s sister. He said, “Boss. That man is no good. He can’t swear at you like that. Let me cut off his head.”
10 David said to Abishai, and to Abishai’s brother Joab, “Don’t do it. It’s got nothing to do with you 2. Maybe God himself told him, ‘Go and swear at David.’ If God told him to do that, nobody can stop him.”
(We have not yet translated 16:11-14.)
The Absalom mob arrived in Jerusalem
15 On that same day, David’s son, Absalom, came to Jerusalem with a lot of Israel soldiers. Ahithofel, that wise old man, he was with him too.
16 Then David’s friend, Hushai, went to meet Absalom. He called out, “Boss Absalom, you are great. You have to be the big boss for ever.” But he told a lie. He was still working for David.
17 Absalom said, “You are a friend of David. You used to follow him. So how come you are not with him now?”
18 But Hushai lied again and said, “I can’t follow him any more. You are the big boss now. God and the Israel mob, they have picked you to be the big boss. I belong to you.
19 This is the best way for me now. I will work for you, just like I worked for your father.” And Absalom believed him.
20 So Absalom said to that wise man, Ahithofel, “All right, tell us, what do we do first?”
21 He answered, “10 of your father’s wives stayed behind to look after the house. You have to sleep with them, as if you are married to them. If you do that, you will make your father ashamed, and he will hate you properly. Then everybody will know that you are the big boss in his house now. Everybody will hear that you were really brave, and that you did it in the open. Then they will follow you.”
22 So the workers put up a tent on the flat roof of David’s big house. Absalom went into the tent and slept with his father’s wives one by one, just like he was married to them. And a lot of people saw him do that, and all the Israel mob heard about it.
23 So Absalom took notice of that wise man’s story, just like his father used to take notice of him. They both thought that he talked straight, just like God does. So they always listened to him carefully.